This week I did encounter some mind battles. They went on in my head more than anything. I am so thankful I have brought this struggle out into the light because it would be times like these that I would have started talking about how I would like to eat and as soon as I messed up or had a bad week, I would be changing the subject and going into denial and feeling down.
This time is different. I want encouragement and I want to get up and press on. I have known enough what I should do when discouragement comes, but I have never really put myself out there to accept help or encouragement. So here I am to share my struggles and press on…perhaps a little journaling and sharing what I struggled with the past week and also share my successes.
I heard a quote or read something about our areas of weaknesses and how not to constantly feel overwhelmed with it. There are areas where we can feel overwhelmed a lot and it runs over and over in our heads. Like I can say, over and over, “I am so overwhelmed with my weight” (fill in the blank where weight is to whatever it is for you) and that thought can repeat itself hundreds of times a day subconsciously. Well this what I read said…replace the word overwhelmed with overcomer. So I may be overwhelmed, but I will be an overcomer. It is going to be the constant work of retraining my thoughts to believe this, but isn’t it encouraging?
Another part of this journey, it is so against the current of how everyone you read about or come in contact with who is trying to lose weight and be healthy. I can’t stand the thought of a diet, it isn’t the answer. My testimony on how I get healthy and to my natural weight are not going to be because I followed a certain formula. That is a challenge in our world.
It is challenging to write all of this because part of me doesn’t fully believe it, doesn’t believe I can do it. It is the emotions part of me that wants to say, nah, let’s just stay the weight and way you are because you will never get to where you were or where you want to be. It will be too hard and you won’t be able to do it and you won’t know how to do it. That is a lie.
Successes this week:
- There were multiple times this week, and I want to say several times EACH day that I totally forgot about food. It was not on my mind, I wasn’t worrying about it or thinking hey I want to eat something just because it tastes good. Amazing feeling!
- I drank several large bottles of water this week, and enjoyed chugging them sometimes. I love the taste of plain water, especially Fugi water or Evian–and it quenches my thirst the best.
- I did two or three Fit2B studios workouts-you can click on my affiliate link for a discount using the code “myheartandyours”-I am loving these exercises and continue to feel stronger and have lost at least 2 inches in my waste so far, and the thing about it I love the most is I love doing the exercises, she is gentle but I still get sore, and my all time favorite thing–the exercises are done barefoot!! Love it!! You can get 3 months for $20, which is $10 savings on 3 months. (Okay I’m done rambling but I really do love the exercises and being completely honest or I wouldn’t even mention it!) It is a success this week!
- I learned something in the Studio Eats challenge that sometimes just having foods made and available to grab is a great idea-even healthy nutritious foods because sometimes you just crave them, but if they are not available, you grab whatever is. I am going to make a handful of things to have on hand through the week so if I do crave something healthy, it will be available. This is something small and simple, but in the past something I would beat myself up over because I didn’t eat any foods that were nourishing me. There are many times I really am craving them, but they aren’t available so I just grab whatever.
This Week’s Struggles:
- I did have some binge eating or what I call binge eating where I keep eating even when I am not hungry, and I am actually pretty stuffed. And not just at one meal, but pretty much the whole day or whole second half of the day. I probably did this 3 or so days this week. Which is why my weight went up a touch, but I can’t dwell on that. I will press on and it will get better.
- I drank a lot of sweet tea and coca cola. I also realized that I have to be intuitive about drinks just as I am in food. Something I learned in the Studio Eats challenge (which I have no affiliation which, just loving the simple truths I am learning about intuitive eating here) day 14.
- I did focus a bit on the scale this week and thought about weighing and wondering if it would go down again or go up. I know the scale has no power over me, but I do want to weigh so I will have my weight in the light and not hidden as hiding it has caused me to be in denial in the past. So I will continue to weight, but need to constantly renew my mind in the scale and not let it master me prayerfully.
Focuses for this coming week:
Bring things into the light instead of hiding them.
Focus on Jesus and walking with Him constantly.
Renew my mind when I start thinking things that I know are lies or when I am acting solely on emotions.
Try and wait for hunger before eating.
I am not alone in this challenge and Mary Organizes continues to join me in the journey to be free and to rid ourselves of all weight on our bodies that are not natural. You can read about her journey each week as well.